


Chapter 1

by Writer_Lethogica



Series: Locked in Heaven [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon Divergence, Other, Season 9 canon divergence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-11-23
Updated: 2013-11-23
Packaged: 2018-01-02 10:12:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,387
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1055548
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Writer_Lethogica/pseuds/Writer_Lethogica
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Our Favorite Dead Side Characters traversing the afterlife with all the crazy shenanigans of a romcom sitcom (because I totes have the headcanon that when angels die, they just end up back in heaven somewhere). Starring Bobby Singer, Ash, Jo and Ellen Harvelle, Pamela Barnes, Mary Winchester, Balthazar, Gabriel, Samandriel, and Meg Master. Guest Starring Chuck and Metatron.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so no beta on this one. Just wanted to post something more fun. This first chapter isn't super funny, but I feel like there will be lighter and funner chapters to come. Enjoy. :)

Mary Winchester woke up groaning on the floor of a bar. She didn’t know where she was. She didn’t remember how got there. She cautiously stood up, glancing around the bar. She sensed someone behind her. She swiftly moved on muscle memory, grabbing the man’s wrists and slamming him into the pool table.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, lady, chill…I didn’t bring you here for harm, I saved you.”

Mary took a look at the man. He looked like some dropout country hick—His hair was in a mullet and he wore a plaid shirt unbuttoned with its sleeves cut off. He didn’t seem dubious, though.

Mary let go of his hands and backed off.

“What do you mean?” asked Mary, crossing her arms.

“Well, what do you remember last?”

“I was…”

Mary closed her eyes, smiling, thinking about the memory.

“I was packing Dean a lunch. We were going to go to the zoo. He wanted to see the penguins. There’s these new penguins at the zoo right now—the fairy penguins from New Zealand. They’re these awkward, cute little penguins with bluish-black and white feathers and have these beautiful bluish-grey eyes that Dean seems so captivated by. He said he wants to have a fairy penguin when he grows up—it’s adorable! But then…but then I remember someone coming. I didn’t really know who he was. He was coming towards me, I don’t remember what he was saying, I just knew something wasn’t right. Then I saw a luchador and…now I’m here.”

Ash nodded.

“I’m going to have to remember that story next time Dean dies and I see him.”

Mary gave him a look.

“What do you mean? Who are you—where are we?”

“Oh, right, name. My name’s Ash, and we are dead. You were in your heaven before, and now, you’re in my heaven.”

“How?”

“I know how to get around heaven. Er—think of heaven as—”

“So, it’s like we have our own little universes, right?” said Mary, not in the mood for a lecture.

“Uh, yeah, basically. I know how to go from heaven to heaven, I’m smart like that,” said Ash. Mary nodded.

“So…you know my son Dean? How…how old was he last time you saw him, how was he?” asked Mary. Ash smiled.

“He was in his late twenties last time I saw him, but he’s probably in his thirties now. Heaven’s weird when it comes to time, so it’s tricky to tell. He was…he was good. I think he’s probably good.”

“So…who was the guy who was there? Who was that guy and who the hell was the luchador?” asked Mary, trying to focus on what she can do instead of what she can do nothing about.

“The guy who was in your heaven was not a dude—that was an angel, a wavelength of celestial intent. Technically, they’re ‘it’s. And that angel was bad news. Its name is Metatron and Metatron was going to use you.”

Mary shook her head.

“Wait, wait, stop there—angels? There are actual angels? And this man—”

“Technically genderless—”

“Yeah, okay, this _angel_ …this angel was going to _use me_? For what? Aren’t angels supposed to be guardians? Fluffy wings, halos. Not dicks.”

“If you could understand Enochian, you’d think of them more as soldiers than anything else, really. All the live angels are out of heaven though—all of them except Metatron,” explained Ash.

“And why’s that?” asked Mary, trying to get used to the fact that angels were real. She wondered if they watched over Dean as she used to think when she was alive, if they watched over Sam. She wondered if she wanted them to watch over her boys. Ash shrugged.

“Not sure. But I that’s why I’m calling a few friends over.”

The door opened to reveal two young blonde women walk in.

“Jo, Ellen, there you are! It’s still weird for me to see you so young—no offense. Oh, Mary, by the way, you look as you want in heaven. Right now—you look like you’re in your twenties. Just thought I should tell you.”

“Thanks, Ash, good to know—Jo and Ellen, is it?”

One of the blonde women took a step forward. Her eyes had more experience behind them.

“Yes, I’m Ellen Harvelle, and this is my daughter, Jo. Mary Winchester, right?”

Mary nodded.

“My, my. Dean really does get his looks from you, I can definitely see the resemblance.”

Mary turned to the girl, Jo—she was only a child, a girl barely in her twenties.

“Stop giving me that look of pity, I died for a good cause. Besides…heaven’s nice for the most part. I’m at peace.”

Mary didn’t stop her sympathy, though.

“People your age shouldn’t feel at peace.”

Jo shrugged.

“A bit late for that, now, isn’t it?” said Jo.

“I guess so,” said Mary. There was another creek from the door as a young man came in. Ellen turned towards the young man and smirked.

“Well, well, if it isn’t Bobby Singer. So this is what you looked like before you were a hunter. How’s the wife?” asked Ellen.

“She’s good. Our heavens are one in the same. I guess that makes us soul mates or whatever,” said Bobby. Ellen grinned.

“Soul mates, huh?” asked Ellen, poking at him. Bobby squirmed awkwardly.

“Seems like you’re embarrassing the guy,” said Mary, walking over to Ellen’s side. Ellen grinned.

“You know, I think I’m going to like you, Mary. I know I like you more than John, that’s for sure.”

Mary tensed a bit—John.

“Is…Is John here?”

The whole room became silent. Tension filled the room as the strangers looked from one another, Mary not understanding why everyone was so quiet.

“Uh, I haven’t found John Winchester around,” said Ash reluctantly, as if she were a wounded animal. Mary sighed…with relief. She remembered the last years she had with John—the days on end where he’d stay in motels, the fighting, the falling asleep drunk next to the television. She had tried to tell herself that she was okay with it, that John was still the kind and optimistic man that she fell in love with, but now, in heaven…she knew it wasn’t so. It took peace to understand what she couldn’t see when she was alive.

“I don’t know if this makes me a bad person…but I’m glad he’s not here,” said Mary. Ellen put a hand on her shoulder.

“Oh, hon, there’s nothing wrong with that. And you’re in heaven. You can’t be that bad if you’re here,” said Ellen. Mary smiled.

“Thanks.”

“Are we here to have a slumber party or are we here to talk about something, Ash?” asked Bobby, walking over, “I kind of like being in heaven with my wife and I don’t like these short notice meetings.”

“Oh, uh, sorry, Bobby. We do have something we need to deal with. Angel radio in heaven has been on silent for the last couple of days, and now, the only living angel in heaven tried to pull Mary Winchester here out of her heaven for some dubious reason.”

“Is it really all that bad that the angels are out of heaven? They’re all sort of dicks,” said Bobby.

“Angels not in heaven means angels on earth. I don’t know what you think, but I don’t think it’s all fine and dandy to have all those righteous asses down there instead of them fighting in their own parts of heaven here,” said Ash.

“Fighting?” asked Mary, feeling stupider by the moment.

“Ever since the Archangels were killed, the angels have been warring amongst themselves. It doesn’t really affect us, Ash just tells us the news when he drops by our heavens.”

“Why are the Angels not in heaven?” asked Mary.

“I’m not sure,” said Ash, “But I bet it has something to do with Metatron.”

Mary nodded.

“And what do you suppose we do?” asked Bobby. The group grew quiet, trying to think of what they could do.

“Maybe we could find Pamela?” asked Jo, “I mean, she was a psychic on earth, maybe she still has her powers now?”

Ash nodded, walking towards the door.

“Come on, guys,” said Ash, grinning, “Road trip.”


End file.
